BlackDave.org – Divide and Conquer

YO!

So you know when you’re watching daytime tv on local channels and you see those random ass college commercials? Here’s a spoof of one that’s really really funny.

Yo!

So I wrote about formspring the other day and I also was reminded of something else: either people lose all sorts of grammatical ability when they’re angry or swooned by some girl, or that 1 out of 2 people are idiots. When someone is like “You think your hot stuff, don’t you?”, I only answer that with, “What do I think my hot stuff does?”. I don’t understand why people are always giving me “hots” and “piece of shit”s and “ugly”s and “not an internet celebrity”s. I don’t want to have a “not an internet celebrity”. Sounds heavy. It’s really hard to hit on someone when you aren’t using proper grammar. Let’s step that up guys.

Another thing I’ve been really really stoked about lately is the coming of new cell phones. I don’t know if I’m supposed to be that guy who keeps getting new shit when it comes out or just constantly use what I have and then just wait it out and get what’s the hottest shit at my upgrade time. What are your thoughts on it? If someone is trying to stay on top of the game, should they always cop the new shit, or will being aware just be enough?

In case you guys were wondering, I still love Sierra Emerge. This year @sierrave is totally gonna get me into warped tour and we’re not going to miss each other like last year. Hit me up shawty! Here’s a picture that basically describes why she’s my favorite person I’ll never be able to develop a legitimate relationship with:

I call it Trierra. Just go ahead and hit me up whenever.

Anyway, you guys have fun. My band will have lots of new shirt designs, posters, and even booty shorts coming out soon!

Hello everyone! How are things going? The weather has been especially nice here in SC over the past few days with temperatures in the middle 60s, so I’ve been…working, actually. Been working during the nice weather.

How have your resolutions that you started at the beginning of the year been going? I’ve been able to stay pretty on track this year, I’ve been making a lot of spreadsheets indicating things I want to do and how much I have reached them and whatnot. Writing things down, or in my case typing them out, makes things a lot easier to keep in mind because you have a physical reminder of what you’re actually trying to accomplish. I’m sure in you’re mind you’re thinking “typing it out won’t help at all because all you have to do is close the file, and if it’s out of sight, then it’s out of mind”, but it’s my desktop background. I switched my picture of Naruto Uzumaki out so that I could have goals. Just kidding, I’d never cover up Naruto.

Everyone has their favorite websites, whether it be youtube, twitter, facebook, or anything like that…and a new one that’s been popping up is this formspring nonsense. The essential point of formspring is that you can ask someone a question, any question, anonymously, and then they answer it to this anonymous person and it’s posted on their profile. Primarily this website is a tool for people to indirectly try and get with girls by anonymously telling them all of these awesome qualities or for people to basically send hate mail anonymously. Those are cool. Here’s some of my favorite questions I’ve received:
1. Ever stepped in dog shit, then brought it in the house all over the carpet?
2. Have you ever put a dogs poop in a brown bag; placed it on someones porch, lit it on fire, rang the bell & then ran?
3. Is your shit soft or hard?
4. Have you ever smelled one of your friends shits?
5. do you look at your shits before you flush?
6. Have you ever taken a picture of one of your shits then called a bunch of your friends to come look at it?
G. Your penis nearly split me in two last time we had sex. Why?
You see what I’m saying? It’s just like…I’m at the doctor. That’s probably how I would explain my personal formspring. It’s mostly where girls get called sluts and dudes get hated on. Lots of fun. Everyone should get one.
www.formspring.me
www.formspring.me/blackdave

So, there has been speculation of new MacBook Pro models rolling out soon, and I’m quite excited for that. My main purpose of buying a mac is so that I can screenshare with Taylor Stradling and steal pictures from her computer to post onto my website while she’s out doing her thing in SoFlo. In case you guys forgot, she’s beautiful. There’s everything but confirmation that the new Intel processors will be in the computers. The core series. I’m really stoked, it’ll make my band and my life better. I need iChat partners, so start dropping your screenames now so that I can build my repertoire up now. If you guys are interested in the new processors, called the core series…let me know. I’ll give you my basic explanation that I give people at work about it:
There’s a single core processor and a dual core processor, as we all know. So with the dual core, there’s straight up dual core which is 2 processors, and a simulated dual core which is one processor that acts as 2. The core series is 2, or even 4(for the upper core i5 and the core i7) of the simulated dual core processors, giving you 4 or 8-way processing.

My band is coming out with a few new shirt designs, as well as shorts for the ladiez soon. Also, we’re well in the process of writing for our next EP. We’re trying to just put out a lot of EPs so that we can cut out the filler and only provide you with hits. In case you guys are confused about anything I have said, please listen to our first EP in it’s entirety on our myspace, or feel free to purchase a physical copy from our online store:
myspace.com/evah8
eva.bigcartel.com

Here’s a small secret to one of my goals this year that I’ve been doing for the past few weeks. Something called “$2 Tuesdays” on this website called “The Blackmarkers”. Every tuesday, they put up a couple of things from their website up for $2, and you can purchase it at that price with the coupon code the provide on twitter. I’ve been doing it a lot lately. Hopefully not too many people jock me and get the OTHER shirt they post up. Haha. They have a lot of dope shit, don’t sleep on it.
www.theblackmarkers.com
@blackmarkers

Now that I’ve let out a few of my secrets, remember that they don’t make friends…and go make some friends.

PS – SkyEatsAirplane(STILL one word) is almost finished with the recording process of their new record, and I, for one, and stoked as fuck.
PPS – tell me a secret
PPPS – if you don’t listen to Trophy Scars, you’re a fool.

1. Why do white people love Bob Marley? He hates you.
2. I should have been off from work on Monday(MLK Day). I heard it’s a national day of service. I could have served my community by not committing crimes from my bed. They should make a national pull up your pants, your president is black day to go hand in hand.
3. I have a voicemail?
4. This song isn’t all that good, but that intro gets me everytime. Enter Shikari – Solidarity. By the way, Enter Shikari is one of my favorite bands. I want to write about Common Dreads pretty soon.
5. That phrase “smh” that I see black girls and white girls who don’t think I’m “black enough” using apparently stands for “shakes my head”. Is there a way I can change that to “so much hate” instead? It’s always perfectly interchangeable.
666.

Bye.

Hey guys.

Did you know that apparently the appropriate way to say 2010 is “twenty ten” and not “two thousand ten”? I like to say “two k x” or “two thousand ten”. Weird. I even write “2kX” on official documents. Yes, OFFICIAL ones…like leases and loans and shit. At the bank, they asked me what year it was, and I politely informed them that I’m clueless, but that I’m going to take a stab at it and say it’s the year of the goat. They weren’t amused. That’s alright though. People at work complain about me because I speak a foreign language. It’s not foreign, it’s called American. American is the best language, the only thing that’s fucked up about it is that everyone in this country speaks it, just not the same. Shit is pretty funny, you can get on the phone with someone and have no clue what they’re talking about but in English it’s the most basic shit ever. You know what I’m talking about.

So, let’s talk about some 2010 things poppin’ off. Firstly, my boy Carlos, aka Gran’, is going to putting out his first real mixtape next month. It’s gonna be pretty good. Kid’s really good at what he does and is driven to make the shit happen. Anyway, shit is called “Gran’ Opening” and, in normal mixtape fashion, it’s a mix of him over beats of other songs and some original tracks as well. I’ve heard a good bit of it already and it’s hot. Find him on MySpace and on Facebook(click the word for links) Here’s the intro track for you guys, and a peek at the album cover:

Gran’ – Gran’ Opening(Presale)

Secondly! SECONDFUCKINGLY! The best band in the sunny state of South Carolina, known to you by 3 letters, E, V, and A, has finally received the physical copy of their EP, known as the Manfiest DestinE.P. We’ve placed it online so that you guys can purchase them through those means. Here’s what the cover looks like and one of our songs, called “All Girls Are Sluts”. If you click the cover, it’ll take you to our online shop:

E.V.A. – All Girls Are Sluts

Thirdly, and I suppose lastly, I’m going to try and do all sorts of cool shit to my website throughout the year. I need a new theme and favicon for starters. I’ll work on that favicon probably tonight. Hopefully I can come out with something awesome.

Did you guys hear about that crazy earthquake in Haiti? Like a 7 on the Richter scale or some shit. Decimated the place, apparently. I heard that America is thinking about bringing some of those people over here. I say thee NAY! Haitians are crazy as fuck, and that’s word. I have a hard enough time understanding America as is, as well.

A few more things before I depart: @officialKat is awesome, Jersey Shore is the most addicting show of 2010, SierrEmerge is probably gonna date me soon(don’t ask questions).

Alright. Later.

PS – There’s this new anonymous question answer thing called formspring on the internet right now. I’ve got an account, and I, of course, was an OG to it: CLICK HERE to ask me anything you want without me knowing who you are. It’s a beautiful thing. I answer ALL questions, too.