Crank dat Twitta Bird
Hey guys.
I have a lot of shit that I’ve been meaning to say, and…sadly, I’ve kept procrastinating and have forgotten everything that I was supposed to write, except one thing. So this post is basically going to be all improvised.
My band, E.V.A. (link attached), is playing a show tonight at The New Brookland Tavern, located in sunny Columbia, South Carolina. Let me tell you a few things about Columbia:
1. I love going to New Brookland
2. I hate the kids in Columbia who go to shows
3. USC has many much hot girls.
I know you’re like, “How can you love NBT if you hate everyone there?”, and I pose one question in rebuttal:
How can you breathe the same air as someone you hate probably more than I just dislike the kids I see standing on the floor in front of me while I’m trying to remember how to play my band’s songs?
The simplified version of this is, “How can you even breathe?”
I’ll wait why you think of an answer. I’m not a very hateful person, I love everyone, even if I don’t necessarily like them. So, everyone who comes to my shows, and everyone who doesn’t…it’s all love. I’d prefer if y’all niggas came, though.
So it looks like Summer is over. This past week we had some pretty Autumn…esque weather. It was sick as fuck! It makes me want to uhh…be glad that butterface season is almost over. Rule of thumb, when September comes up in the south, it’s time for you guys to secure your man! The motto of September is “Secure your man!” Hopefully every butterfaced girl who is actually worth a shit has a dude who is actually worth a shit.
Speaking of New Brookland Tavern, I saw Vanna there the other day. They have a new vocalist. His name is Davey. He has this bird that looks like the Twitter bird tattooed on his back…twice. He has the twitter bird tattooed on his back twice. That’s two times. Like the equivalent of my friend Laura Boyd’s tats around her titties. I’m gonna pilfer a picture from her MySpace or Facebook or something in just a second. Long story short, add Vanna to my disappointment list. Davey’s a terrible vocalist and I actually CAN wait to hear their next album. A New Hope is apparently the end of Vanna’s hot streak.
I bought a BlackBerry the other day. It’s a Curve 8330. It’s red. I’m going to get that shit custom plated. I would like to live a custom plated life if at all possible. If I could transform into a robot like Michael Jackson in “Michael Jackson’s Moonwalker”, then I’d be set. It appears that no one cares about MJ being a suspected child molester now that he has passed. I hope the dudes on “To Catch A Predator” are that lucky. After they get beaten to death in jail by dudes that they all have a change of heart like, “Damn, he actually had great qualities below that creepy exterior.” I don’t know how that works. No one’s caught me molesting kids yet, so I can’t speak on it. TMI? Probably. The moral of this paragraph is that I wanted to tell you my BlackBerry pin.
HERE’S MY BLACKBERRY PIN: 30A3C43B
If I can offer up a few albums to listen to for you guys once again, here’s a couple:
1. Dance Gavin Dance put out two albums this year, they’re both so fucking good. I remember talking about one when it was streaming on SmartPunk or something. They came out with another album since then, and it’s super super good. It’s called ‘Happiness’.
2. Blueprint 3? I haven’t listened to it yet, but Jay-Z is never too bad. He CAN be bad though.
3. I can also tell you not to listen to the Four Year Strong 90′s cover album. While I was peeping it with Rainbro the other day, I said, “I can see why I would definitely hate this band.” And…I definitely do.
I have a job now. I buy things now.
Isn’t that cool? Probably. I think so.
And to end this post, a picture of my friend Laura. She’s super pretty, but she used to be quite a bit more awesome in her previous years. Still not a bad person though. This is a girl who has no trouble securing her man during any time of the year.
