BlackDave.org – Divide and Conquer

Hello everyone! How are things going? The weather has been especially nice here in SC over the past few days with temperatures in the middle 60s, so I’ve been…working, actually. Been working during the nice weather.

How have your resolutions that you started at the beginning of the year been going? I’ve been able to stay pretty on track this year, I’ve been making a lot of spreadsheets indicating things I want to do and how much I have reached them and whatnot. Writing things down, or in my case typing them out, makes things a lot easier to keep in mind because you have a physical reminder of what you’re actually trying to accomplish. I’m sure in you’re mind you’re thinking “typing it out won’t help at all because all you have to do is close the file, and if it’s out of sight, then it’s out of mind”, but it’s my desktop background. I switched my picture of Naruto Uzumaki out so that I could have goals. Just kidding, I’d never cover up Naruto.

Everyone has their favorite websites, whether it be youtube, twitter, facebook, or anything like that…and a new one that’s been popping up is this formspring nonsense. The essential point of formspring is that you can ask someone a question, any question, anonymously, and then they answer it to this anonymous person and it’s posted on their profile. Primarily this website is a tool for people to indirectly try and get with girls by anonymously telling them all of these awesome qualities or for people to basically send hate mail anonymously. Those are cool. Here’s some of my favorite questions I’ve received:
1. Ever stepped in dog shit, then brought it in the house all over the carpet?
2. Have you ever put a dogs poop in a brown bag; placed it on someones porch, lit it on fire, rang the bell & then ran?
3. Is your shit soft or hard?
4. Have you ever smelled one of your friends shits?
5. do you look at your shits before you flush?
6. Have you ever taken a picture of one of your shits then called a bunch of your friends to come look at it?
G. Your penis nearly split me in two last time we had sex. Why?
You see what I’m saying? It’s just like…I’m at the doctor. That’s probably how I would explain my personal formspring. It’s mostly where girls get called sluts and dudes get hated on. Lots of fun. Everyone should get one.
www.formspring.me
www.formspring.me/blackdave

So, there has been speculation of new MacBook Pro models rolling out soon, and I’m quite excited for that. My main purpose of buying a mac is so that I can screenshare with Taylor Stradling and steal pictures from her computer to post onto my website while she’s out doing her thing in SoFlo. In case you guys forgot, she’s beautiful. There’s everything but confirmation that the new Intel processors will be in the computers. The core series. I’m really stoked, it’ll make my band and my life better. I need iChat partners, so start dropping your screenames now so that I can build my repertoire up now. If you guys are interested in the new processors, called the core series…let me know. I’ll give you my basic explanation that I give people at work about it:
There’s a single core processor and a dual core processor, as we all know. So with the dual core, there’s straight up dual core which is 2 processors, and a simulated dual core which is one processor that acts as 2. The core series is 2, or even 4(for the upper core i5 and the core i7) of the simulated dual core processors, giving you 4 or 8-way processing.

My band is coming out with a few new shirt designs, as well as shorts for the ladiez soon. Also, we’re well in the process of writing for our next EP. We’re trying to just put out a lot of EPs so that we can cut out the filler and only provide you with hits. In case you guys are confused about anything I have said, please listen to our first EP in it’s entirety on our myspace, or feel free to purchase a physical copy from our online store:
myspace.com/evah8
eva.bigcartel.com

Here’s a small secret to one of my goals this year that I’ve been doing for the past few weeks. Something called “$2 Tuesdays” on this website called “The Blackmarkers”. Every tuesday, they put up a couple of things from their website up for $2, and you can purchase it at that price with the coupon code the provide on twitter. I’ve been doing it a lot lately. Hopefully not too many people jock me and get the OTHER shirt they post up. Haha. They have a lot of dope shit, don’t sleep on it.
www.theblackmarkers.com
@blackmarkers

Now that I’ve let out a few of my secrets, remember that they don’t make friends…and go make some friends.

PS – SkyEatsAirplane(STILL one word) is almost finished with the recording process of their new record, and I, for one, and stoked as fuck.
PPS – tell me a secret
PPPS – if you don’t listen to Trophy Scars, you’re a fool.

Hey.

It’s the first day of November. How exciting, right? I’m excited. November is legit as fuck. Every month is, really…except August. No holidays. My birthday though is in August, though. I’m super down with September-November because of the weather. I’m down with being cold and then getting hot and then doing it again, and every Sunday being cool and breezy. That’s Charleston weather. High of 80, low of 45, and 70 all day on Sunday with a decent breeze. Who the fuck wouldn’t like that? People who get sick, I guess…..

Speaking of being sick, are people seriously still getting the swine flu still? Can I call it that? Is my shit gonna get censored to say “H1N1″? That’d be lame. But basically, fuck y’all….swine flu is stupid and everyone who has it should know how the fuck to avoid it by now. I know you’re like, “Damn Dave, you’re harsh.” That’s fine.

Halloween was last night. It should be called, all girls should dress slutty and all dudes drink themselves into a coma and ugly girls stay home…day. Because all of those things should be in effect. Charleston in general is littered with many a fine female, and many a keg drinkin male, but some people….some people!…just aren’t as in those demographics as others. And I don’t hate you guys, dressing slutty just isn’t in your cards.

I guess I can start shamelessly promoting my 2 shows I have coming up. Firstly, FIRSTLY! November 14th! EVA is puttin’ it down at The Oasis in good ol’ James Island!!!!!!! JAMES ISLAND! THE OASIS! NOVEMEBER 14th! EVA! We’re playing with Ophira for their first show, and In Regret, this super legit hardcore band from Columbia, SC. Atop that, we are also playing with a new Charleston band called Cavalry who I can’t say anything about because I’ve never listened to them. I guess the bands that matter or whatever you wanna call it, the reason for such a great lineup for a show, are Asking Alexandria(who I’ve also never heard) and For The Fallen Dreams. So, come out and fucking mosh and watch me fight someone.

OH, and by the by, I purchased myself a new BlackBerry. Her name is Sandy Silverberry. Her pin number, which is also located on my sidebar is: 20A5A896. So think of this as a Bye-bye to Bruno and a Hello to Hiro and a Salutations to Sandy!

At the end of today, I want everyone to remember that it’s fucking November and none of the shit you do today will matter in December, so have fucking fun.

Peace.

PS – if you listen to hardcore and live in South Carolina, go here and sign up: www.southcarolinahardcore.com

PPS – new Taylor and/or Sierra pics coming up soon. I know you both read my shit, so this is me continuing to profess my love for both of you. Sadly though, first come, first serve!

Hey guys.

I have some awesome news for people who have been under a rock for the past month or so:
Heroes season 4 has begun! So if you haven’t caught up or want to go into the season refreshed, make sure to go to Best Buy(yes, Best Buy), and cop the previous seasons. Then go and watch the episodes online until you’re caught up. It’s a show I highly recommend to niggas. All niggas everywhere! Bigga niggas, lil niggas, real niggas, pussy ass niggas…niggas of every shape and size! Get on it, watch heroes! Sorry, no black people though…the only black person on the show died. The show started and he was in jail for doing some gangsta shit, and then he died. I’m just gonna leave it at that.

My band is playing this Saturday at good ol’ Weekend’s Pub in Goose Creek. What a lame name for a creek. Goose. Fuck that place. Haha. Apartments are cheap as fuck though, I used to live out there. I lived with a kid who bought a car from a drug dealer…or gave a drug dealer a lot of money in hopes to receive a car. I also heard his girlfriend was fucking the dude. Drug dealers always get hooked up with that situation. I wonder if girls know that they don’t have to fuck dudes to get drugs? Probably not.

It’s always funny when I look back on a paragraph and notice how nonsensical the shit I’m writing is. I’ll start talking about my band, which is a fantastic entity, and end up talking about drugs or girls, which both aren’t fantastic entities…and it’s pretty funny. I used to want to do stand up comedy, ya know? It takes a serious amount of balls, and a serious amount of intelligence(or something) to write a good routine. I never remembered to write anything down or retain anything funny I said in my mind, so here I am writing a blog that I hope tickles some pickles instead.

I really hate when girls ask me:
1. You know Josh Keith?
I really hate when dudes ask me:
2. You know Ryan Ashley?

I would like to answer these questions here in this open forum. Yes, I know Josh, and we are friends, but if you’re going to tell me about how you made out with him once or how you’re thinking about it, please don’t. I don’t care. He’s dating my ex-girlfriend(who is way the fuck hot, but not an awesome person at all), and I guess he thinks I’m mad about it and spent a long time trying to make sure I wasn’t mad. Thanks a lot for being friendly about it, but I’m not your dad. As for the first question: I don’t know Ryan Ashley, but I do in fact know Ryan Rickard. Do you guys really know people with the last name Ashley to argue this point with me? I mean….seriously? Someone with the last name Ashley? Get the fuck out.

I said first instead of second? You thought I didn’t catch that?

Oh yeah, Emmure is playing this week in Charleston? Fight them, I will not try to do. But they do suck…and that’s enough for me.

Does anyone have any new music to recommend to me? I really hope so.

Later.

PS – New Sierra pic next post. Promise.

Hey guys.

Let me start this post by saying that my band, E.V.A.(@EVAmmh8) is a bunch of fucking rockstars. We played a show the other night with many much other bands and amidst the many much problems during our set, we had many much fun and you guys were many much fun. Good ol Rainbro(@Rainbro) broke their mic and good ol EmDray broke his guitar whilst being awesome. Good ol me(@BlackDave) couldn’t ever get the backing tracks to work. I’m gonna start putting stories about how I’m a rockstar in the “Swagger” category, and guess what? You can’t argue with me because this is the fucking internet.

…and arguing on the internet is like the special olympics…
even if you do win, you’re still retarded.

On the subject of music, my friend’s band, Ophira(@weareophira), put two new songs on their MySpace page. I’ll give you a link: OPHIRA. I just want to talk about it, their drummer wanted me to speak a little on it, as did their old bass player. Well, last time, they sounded exactly like Oceana did on The Tide, and it was beautiful. NOW, they sound like bonus tracks on Birtheater, Oceana’s second album, which I did review. Birtheater is a fantastic album, I didn’t originally like it, but it is superb. Oceana isn’t a band anymore, so…no more new songs. Long story short, Ophira’s vocalist is a nice guy, but his screaming abilities aren’t as awesome as the band’s musical ability. I like his singing, and Ophira learned that during the first time that he wasn’t strong in the throat department, so they worked it out, and he stepped his game up so that the music isn’t too scream heavy, but still heavy. It sounds really good, I’m thoroughly impressed with it, but having jammed with these guys before, I really think that they could do better. So, here’s to a better @weareophira in the future! But they are actually good enough for most of you guys already anyway. I just know they have more to offer @BlackDave personally.

I don’t know what the name of the band means, but while we’re talking about names of bands, let me tell you what a “one upper” is, courtesy of UrbanDictionary.com:

One Upper n.

An annoying person who responds to hearing someone else’s experience or problem by immediately telling a similar story about themselves with a much more fantastic (or terrible) outcome.

Person: I got to meet James Hetfield before the concert and I got his autograph.
One Upper: Yeah? Well my cousin knows the head of security for Metallica, and he got us front row tickets to the show and then we went backstage and met the whole group. Then they invited us back to their hotel room and we partied with them all night.

Person: I have a a dislocated knee.
One Upper: Yeah? Well last summer I broke my leg in four places and had to have a steel pin inserted. I also had to have surgery done on my knee to repair the torn ligaments. I was on crutches for almost two months.

So if you know what Ophira means or stands for, spill it.

I slept for 11 hours last night, and I recall two dreams…one was a fantastic idea for a movie or video game, and the other was about this really distressing love triangle that I’m actually not involved in, nor is it a true love triangle. But it is about dudes who play in hardcore bands loving girls who sing in pop bands…and guess what? THAT IS FUCKING IMPORTANT.
So my boy @rainbro would probably not be upset if he were given a chance to be with @lightsnoise, who is currently dating @xcadaverx or The Devil Wears Prada fame…and that’s the love triangle. My love triangle, which isn’t actually a triangle, because my twitter using female band front doesn’t even have a boyfriend, is a little simpler. I just want @sierraVE. That’s not new news? Damn. So this whole paragraph was uninformative? Damn. Well, here’s a couple pictures of Sierra in her more recent travels. I pilfer them from easy to find places, so don’t think that she and I have some super awesome connection. She’s not even following me on twitter anymore! How useful that would have been when she wanted to get me into warped tour but actually couldn’t because she wasn’t following me on twitter anymore and was trying to message me so that I could meet up with her. You should prolly just slide me them digits anyway, Sierra. I dig out of town girls, and I bet:
a) You’ve never been with a black man
b) Dig out of town dudes as well.

SO…moral of the story…Sierra is a cutiepie who needs to refollow me on twitter(@BlackDave).

PS – Here’s a little promotion for everyone I’ve written about today:
OPHIRA! – @weareophira
ME! – @BlackDave
Ryan Rainbro – @rainbro CLICK HERE
E.V.A – the hardcore band Rainbro and myself are in – CLICK HERE
Valerie Poxleitner – @lightsnoise – LIGHTS(her music)
Daniel Williams – @xcadaverx – THE DEVIL WEARS PRADA
Sierra Kusterbeck – @sierrave – CLICK HERE – VERSA EMERGE

PPS – I really hate when you’re on the internet trying to choose the next girl you’re gonna creep out with that “Hey, you’re hot and we should get together” MySpace message and their about me is all intelligent and shit and they’re fucking idiots. I know you’ve had that problem. I’m definitely one of the creepier dudes in my City, so this happens to me often. Not only is the girl hot and highly sought after, but is dating an ugly dude and cheating on him, and fucking stupid. So…if there are any intelligent girls residing in the Chuck looking for a man, holla!

PPPS – That was another paragraph right there.

Hey guys.

I have a lot of shit that I’ve been meaning to say, and…sadly, I’ve kept procrastinating and have forgotten everything that I was supposed to write, except one thing. So this post is basically going to be all improvised.

My band, E.V.A. (link attached), is playing a show tonight at The New Brookland Tavern, located in sunny Columbia, South Carolina. Let me tell you a few things about Columbia:
1. I love going to New Brookland
2. I hate the kids in Columbia who go to shows
3. USC has many much hot girls.

I know you’re like, “How can you love NBT if you hate everyone there?”, and I pose one question in rebuttal:
How can you breathe the same air as someone you hate probably more than I just dislike the kids I see standing on the floor in front of me while I’m trying to remember how to play my band’s songs?

The simplified version of this is, “How can you even breathe?”
I’ll wait why you think of an answer. I’m not a very hateful person, I love everyone, even if I don’t necessarily like them. So, everyone who comes to my shows, and everyone who doesn’t…it’s all love. I’d prefer if y’all niggas came, though.

So it looks like Summer is over. This past week we had some pretty Autumn…esque weather. It was sick as fuck! It makes me want to uhh…be glad that butterface season is almost over. Rule of thumb, when September comes up in the south, it’s time for you guys to secure your man! The motto of September is “Secure your man!” Hopefully every butterfaced girl who is actually worth a shit has a dude who is actually worth a shit.

Speaking of New Brookland Tavern, I saw Vanna there the other day. They have a new vocalist. His name is Davey. He has this bird that looks like the Twitter bird tattooed on his back…twice. He has the twitter bird tattooed on his back twice. That’s two times. Like the equivalent of my friend Laura Boyd’s tats around her titties. I’m gonna pilfer a picture from her MySpace or Facebook or something in just a second. Long story short, add Vanna to my disappointment list. Davey’s a terrible vocalist and I actually CAN wait to hear their next album. A New Hope is apparently the end of Vanna’s hot streak.

I bought a BlackBerry the other day. It’s a Curve 8330. It’s red. I’m going to get that shit custom plated. I would like to live a custom plated life if at all possible. If I could transform into a robot like Michael Jackson in “Michael Jackson’s Moonwalker”, then I’d be set. It appears that no one cares about MJ being a suspected child molester now that he has passed. I hope the dudes on “To Catch A Predator” are that lucky. After they get beaten to death in jail by dudes that they all have a change of heart like, “Damn, he actually had great qualities below that creepy exterior.” I don’t know how that works. No one’s caught me molesting kids yet, so I can’t speak on it. TMI? Probably. The moral of this paragraph is that I wanted to tell you my BlackBerry pin.
HERE’S MY BLACKBERRY PIN: 30A3C43B

If I can offer up a few albums to listen to for you guys once again, here’s a couple:
1. Dance Gavin Dance put out two albums this year, they’re both so fucking good. I remember talking about one when it was streaming on SmartPunk or something. They came out with another album since then, and it’s super super good. It’s called ‘Happiness’.
2. Blueprint 3? I haven’t listened to it yet, but Jay-Z is never too bad. He CAN be bad though.
3. I can also tell you not to listen to the Four Year Strong 90′s cover album. While I was peeping it with Rainbro the other day, I said, “I can see why I would definitely hate this band.” And…I definitely do.

I have a job now. I buy things now.
Isn’t that cool? Probably. I think so.

And to end this post, a picture of my friend Laura. She’s super pretty, but she used to be quite a bit more awesome in her previous years. Still not a bad person though. This is a girl who has no trouble securing her man during any time of the year.