BlackDave.org – Divide and Conquer

What’s up world?

It’s super late, but it’s been a little bit since I’ve updated.
I guess I’ll start with showing you something that I really want.

VW Fitted

These are concept hats. I was reading my rss feeds from StrictlyFitteds.com and saw this and went nuts…or as nuts as I would go in a situation where me going nuts would be deemed fit. I would wear the XXX hat all day everytday, and the dragonfruit hat better be white instead of black. These are all concept hats, so of course, this is all in the “if” tense. If is a tense now.

What’s up with this new swine flu shit? I know I’m posting so late that they gave it a new name, but who gives a fuck really? I heard that it’s a mix of bird flu, pig flu, and human flu. All a nigga named Dave is trying to figure out is what miracle of science caused that? You mean for me to imagine that a bird would puke into the mouth of a pig and leave an unsuspecting Mexican to eat some bad bacon? YOU MEAN TO TELL ME THAT zero niggas are dying from this shit, but y’all wanna hear the president talk about this shit? Further proof Obama ain’t black. I know Michelle(the real gangsta, as previously established) was like, “Baby, fuck them niggas. They’re stupid for really believing some shit like that.” To which he responded, “Now now Michelle” or some weak shit like that, just to avoid getting the ghetto cuss out.

My mom will put a ghetto cuss out on you in a minute, and I feel like Michelle will too. “Now now Michelle” isn’t going to save you from a ghetto cuss out. Obama must be a gay fish or something.

My friend called me today and was like, “If you’re born siamese twins, do you only have one birth certificate or two?” I would love to hear some uneducated answers, as mine was uneducated as well.

“Well, if they only have one umbilical cord, then there was really one birth, right?” I don’t know shit bout no god damn babies! Go in your bed with that shit.

I’m going to start saying that more often…’go in your bed with that shit,’ which will be openly interchangeable with ‘comb your beard with that shit,’ because they may or may not sound the same if you say it really fast.

Well guys, now that I’ve written an essay, let me show you a pair of Dunks or two that I’m super into. They’re both cartoon related, but I like how they both look:

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PS – I hope to be updating my links section and other sections very soon.

What’s good?

I’m just sitting on the couch watching that Toy Machine skate video “Good & Evil”. Just in case you care.

Speaking of watching shit, I watched the movie “The Warriors” the other day and it changed my life. What movie changed you life? All a nigga named Dave is trying to tell you is that he prolly couldn’t kick your ass on a normal day, but if I had on a Warriors vest and maybe a tank top with a pair of Levi’s and some Dunk Lows that I would ruin your day. Fucking fuck your shit up. Now I know your thinking, that makes no sense, but just in case you have any fucking doubts:

So, because of what you just saw, I’m calling some niggas out:
A) graphic designers: I want a fucking awesome logo for my gang
2) Gangsta ass niggas: Who will wear this shit everywhere
C) Pussy ass niggas: Didnt you read the title? You can wear em too!
D) Bitches, Hoes, Tricks, and any other type of female degrading their gender: ROCK MY SHIT!
E) Ladies – Y’all too! Why put a ring on it when you can put a jacket on it?

And speaking of Ladies, it’s Valentine’s Day tomorrow. At what point do niggas need to do extra shit to let women be like “I guess that was alright.” Lucky for y’all, I dont take girls seriously, because I’ll cut a bitch. Ask my ex-girlfriend Michelle. I cut her. Why you ask? Oh, you didnt ask?
BECAUSE A BITCH WAS ACTING DUMB AS A BITCH! That’s why it’s called “dumb as a bitch”. What it should be called is “dumb as Sega’s advertising”, because every Sega system was the best shit ever! THE BEST fucking SHIT fucking EVER! I dare you to tell me a bad Sega system. I know Game Gear had shitty battery life, but it’s all good. Shit was ill. Don’t make me rant about that shit, because…I would and could. If you need it, just request it.
As I was saying…you need to either get a fucking Twitter or fucking Latitude or fucking…something.
Oh, and if your Valentine isn’t Asian or Sierra Emerge, you’re a fucking faggot.

Someone get me some strawberry ice cream or banana Nesquik or XxX Vitamin Water.

Yo. I only have a couple things I wanna talk about today.

First thing is Grand Theft Auto 4. If you’ve played all of the other GTA games, this one lacks in a couple of areas, but is so far beyond the other ones in others that the bad shit looks like a cups on a fat bitch.
Graphics are immaculate. Let’s start there. I heard that this is one of the only games that the disc spins constantly, which means that it is constantly loading things around it. Which means for higher graphic capabilities. It also means your system is more likely to get real hot…but gamers usually don’t give a fuck about that.
…..unless they’re white and own an xbox360.
I know it’s 2008 so graphics are gonna be good anyway, but…I’m an OG to video games, so I can keep talking about graphics.
When I first popped the bitch in, the gameplay wasn’t that good to me. Best GTA gameplay award goes to San Andreas, but after a bit…it grew on me. So…gameplay went from bad to good.
The thing that made this GTA so much better than the others was the use of a cell phone and being able to actually hang out with the people in the game. You can download ringtones and themes for your phone. You receive picture messages of your cousin with a gun to his head and your niggas will call you just to say that they’re stuck in the trunk of a car.
I could talk about it all day, but I won’t. Some of y’all aren’t video game nerds and are waiting on me to say something to make someone mad. So…moving on…

If you want to take a moment out of your day to judge me…here’s what I’m doing right now:
I’m listening to Explosions in the Sky while eating Cheez-its and drinking a “focus”(kiwi-strawberry) Vitamin Water. I’m also talking to a 16 year old girl on aim.
This should be fun especially if you don’t know me. If you do know me…you’d probably expect me to be doing these things.

The other thing I wanted to talk about was a concert I went to last night. I live in Charleston, SC…for those who don’t keep up, and I went to Myrtle Beach to go see the band Modest Mouse exhibit their music to a large group of fans. This was my first time seeing Modest Mouse. I took the journey to see them with one of my friends, who may be one of the biggest MM fans in Charleston. After hearing about how he’s going to masturbate Isaac Brock when certain events occurred during their set, I had to see this for myself. I missed watching the first song, which was “Dance Hall” from their album “Good News For People Who Love Bad News” and then proceeded with their set. This tour is in promotion of their latest album “We Were Dead Before The Ship Even Sank”. Set was about an hour and a half long. Here’s some of my thoughts:
I think that the set was decent. I feel like I heard the same song about 7 times during their set and there were also a couple of classics like “Paper Thin Walls” and “Tiny Cities Made of Ashes”. I think the feeling was there, but the amount of creativity difference between all of the previous Modest Mouse albums and their 2 most recent just made the set lack a lot of things that I expected.
I’ll let you guys listen for yourselves. I’ll play one of Modest Mouse’s older popular songs to one of their newer ones:
This song is called “Missed the Boat”. It’s their most recent single:
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dTzM2aHEC7k]

Here’s a song called “Dramamine”. Its from the first Studio Album over 10 years ago:
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TK1bi4emEkk]

And if that’s too old, here’s one off of their last independent(in my mind) album “The Moon and Antarctica”:
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TK1bi4emEkk]

Long story short. Someone needs to tell the dudes in Modest Mouse to go back to their roots. Just because years have passed doesn’t mean you can get worse. And The Smiths were/are still awesome.

And there were 12 black people at the show. Over 2000 attended.

Oh….and Sierra Emerge is still the best.